Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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