I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
