you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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