Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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