i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
