she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
