dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
