i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
