So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
