Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
