You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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