1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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