8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
