you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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