Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This is my gift to your gina
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
