my soul wont recognize me after tonight
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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