it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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