I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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