I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
