just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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