Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She announced her abortion via fbk
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
