Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
