You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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