it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
