Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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