The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
