My pussy is not your playground.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Randomize
