is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
