I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
