I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
