i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
