I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Randomize
