There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
