So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
