maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Dear god my vagina.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
