yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am one with the molecules
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
