i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
