i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
