This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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