That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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