check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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