we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Randomize
