the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
