I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
