is your mom at the bar?
one two three fourrrrnication!
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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