i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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