Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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