it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
