Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
