it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
