did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
