I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My vagina just recognized that song.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
