Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
